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I have a reputation as a thoughtful gift-giver. Of course, as any great athlete will tell you, playing your best means being unafraid to take a big shot, and those shots don’t always make it in. As my wife and I approach our 9th wedding anniversary, I can assure you I’ve swung and missed quite a few times. However, the best athletes also never hang their heads after a loss, and instead use it as a learning experience.
With that approach in mind, I’ve decided to turn my Ls into Ws by offering you my hard-earned wisdom. What follows is advice on what NOT to give your partner this Mother’s Day, paired with some winning alternatives to consider instead. Whether for your own wife, mother, mother-in-law, or stepmom, here is what to avoid gifting the moms in your life on Mother’s Day.
DO NOT Gift: Once, a friend and I road-tripped to Mardi Gras, and the morning of our departure, we realized we needed to find gifts for our significant others quickly before heading home. At a market near Bourbon Street, I found an acrylic (the very cheap, knit material you’d find in fast fashion chains… but even worse) hooded dress that featured a tassel on the end of the hood. In my defense, I may not have been seeing perfectly straight that morning. To this day, it represents the high water mark of bad gifts in our relationship. My wife has laughed about the hideousness of that garment so many times that, in a way, it is the gift that keeps on giving. Yet unless you want your gifts to inspire a lifetime of mirthful laughter, DO NOT give your significant other an acrylic hooded dress from a souvenir store in a tourist neighborhood.
DO Gift: Quince’s Mongolian Cashmere Padded Shoulder Tank.
DO NOT Gift: My wife is both outdoorsy and appreciates comfort. I’ve tried to nurture her outdoorsiness in the past by providing inspo in the form of things I would want (a cool five-panel hat!) that end up collecting dust. Trust me, your wife, mother, or MIL doesn’t want a five-panel hat—save it for Father’s Day gifting.
DO Gift: The Luno Packable Camping Pillow.
DO NOT Gift: The sheer number of things we have to keep track of as parents with two young kids can be mind-boggling. So it’s no surprise that organization can slip from time to time. However, getting your wife a consultation with a professional declutterer is kind of like saying, “You are too messy, and you need some serious help.” Trust me, I tried this, and let’s just say it was not a hit, folks. Nobody—especially the mother of your children—wants to hear that on Mother’s Day… or any day.
DO Gift: The James Brand Rowan EDC Key Carabiner.
DO NOT Gift: A facial at a random spa that has not been vetted by your partner (or researched at all, for that matter… oops!). A friend and I recently thought it would be fun to get our wives a gift card to a cafe and pair it with a facial at a spa next door. Both of our wives were bewildered and bemused. Apparently, not all spas are created equal. I suppose it would be like if someone gifted me a Bud Light since they know I like beer. Not all beers are created equal, either. Lesson learned.
DO Gift: Rei Retinol Cream from Monastery.
DO NOT Gift: My wife suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which can last for a significant chunk of the year in Boston. So, one year, I got her a therapeutic light that was supposed to help combat SAD symptoms by mimicking the blazing light of the sun. In theory, all she had to do was eschew any and all semblance of a normal life and post up in front of her fake sun lamp all winter to feel better. She was neither bewildered nor bemused—but she clearly didn’t like it. The light was promptly returned.
DO Gift: The No Reception Club Getaway Bag.