‘Three Things I Would Never Do As a Divorce Lawyer’

The biggest mistake you can make when divorcing is… not actually going through with it.

Erin Levine, divorce lawyer of nearly 20 years based in California, has offered three key definite “do nots” in the process of divorcing, as breaking up a shared home—whether it includes children or not—is not only emotionally painful but logistically murky. It’s difficult to know what the right thing to do is, or how to do it.

“Having navigated the choppy waters of divorce for many, I’ve gleaned insights on what not to do,” Levine said. “Here are [three] key missteps I’d avoid like the plague, and how you can, too.”

Procrastinating

The first piece of advice Levine, founder of Hello Divorce, an online divorce management platform had for those going through a divorce was to, well, actually go through with a divorce.

“Many hold off on filing for divorce, citing reasons from fear to financial worries. But trust me, the ‘perfect timing’ award doesn’t exist in divorce courts,” she said. “Delaying often means more complications—financial entanglements deepen, liabilities grow and emotional baggage piles up.

“If divorce is inevitable, better to rip off the Band-Aid. You’ll thank yourself later, and your kids will fare better in a calmer post-divorce environment.”

Overrelying on Lawyers

While Levine herself is a divorce lawyer—she is based in California and is the founder she didn’t shy away from naming the often extortionate costs of professional legal help. With some research, to-be divorcees can expand their sources of support and move forward with more savings.

“Here’s a not-so-secret secret,” said Levine, founder of Hello Divorce, an online divorce management platform. “We aren’t miracle workers, and certainly not cheap. With divorces averaging $15,000 to $20,000 a pop, consider using legal help only for the must-haves. Utilize online resources for the straightforward tasks and hire a financial expert for the complex money matters. This strategy saves your wallet and keeps the peace.”

Many see lawyers as harbingers of conflict, not peacekeepers. Levine said that by using online resources, or even lawyers who are skilled in negotiation, people can significantly cut their spending. They can also use newer online services for tasks lawyers are typically responsible for, like filing paperwork with the court, completing basic forms or understanding legal jargon or processes.

Moving Out Too Soon

While ripping off the Band-Aid and filing for divorce can make everything feel urgent, it’s important to take time with this major transition—both for emotional and legal reasons.

“Unless it’s a matter of safety, don’t rush to pack your bags,” Levine said. “Staying under the same roof, even if it’s in separate rooms, can prevent financial strain and protect your rights.” This issue becomes especially relevant in matters of child custody or claims to the family home.

“If you have children, exiting the family home without a clear, temporary agreement or court order defining parenting time and custody arrangements could lead to serious accusations and legal complications,” Levine said. “Moving out early might weaken your claim to [the home], especially if both you and your spouse are intent on buying the other out…it could complicate your ability to claim the home as your primary residence.”

While cohabitating with a soon-to-be ex-spouse is not an ideal situation, it certainly helps both parties protect the home they’ve built together and split it up fairly.

“Navigating a divorce is never a walk in the park, but with the right approach, it doesn’t have to be a march through the mud either,” she said. “Aim for informed decisions, not just reactive ones, and you’ll find the process a whole lot smoother.”